L writes about- Child rearing : Are grand parents being misused?

You can read her post here.

It's an interesting topic, no doubt, and she raises some good points. I won't go into into the details of those points though because there really isn't anything to debate about there.

All I would say is that we should not rush to deal out judgment, because we do not know the real circumstances of each case. For a lot of old people, rearing a grandchild is a dream come true, for which they may be willing to forgo the other luxuries of retired life. Indeed, they may not even consider as luxuries things that we take for granted we would like to do, like travel or religious activities or catching up with relatives. I think it's up to each individual to decide how their life is to be spent and if they like helping out their own children, what's wrong with that?

Of course, it goes without saying that it's wrong on the children's part to force their parents to do something they don't want to do. As L says, if the parents want to come and help, they are welcome but you should be able to plan your life without making the assumption that help will be available whenever you demand it.

Which brings us to the question of whether couples actually think before starting a family and given the struggles that I see many families going through, the answer is obviously a big "NO". Marriage/kids and logistics/finances somehow seem to be completely independent of each other for most people.